Owning The Process

So, I came to a point - a crossroad with photography. It left me paralyzed with questions and fear and doubt. It was decision time. I had to decide... do I want to stay small and maintain photography as a hobby? Or, do I dare greatly and allow myself to grow? To follow an unknown path? What will happen if I choose? Who will I become and will I be content with her? What would I regret more? I took the time. For a few months, I put the camera away. I stopped. I didn't think. Not for a while. I went back to the hum of everyday life and I allowed myself to stop thinking about it. I put guilt and regret and fear and curiosity on the shelf and I went back to life as it were. But, then something happened. I couldn't stop thinking about it. That little light shone through... that little voice - "but what if you can?"

As a result, After a few months, I picked up my camera and again, I played around with it. To my surprise, I picked up right where I left off; amazed at what I would do with it. I realized, with conviction, this makes me feel happy. I began to let go of the comparisons, the self doubt, the fear, the guilt, the what-ifs... etc, etc, etc. I laid them down. Without thought or words, I gave myself permission. I walked to the proverbial edge, I looked over the side, I let my thoughts and feelings float away, and I lept.

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